DIM

Easy Answears

2006-04-28T08:50:47Z

So after all this time of my emotional turmoil, he finally experiances what I have been going through nigh endlessly on fucking loop. Congratulations. Guess when it's your turn to be distraught and sad as hell she'll happily oblige being your one and only... What a sick little world this is. But had we any doubts, we would proceed no further right? YOu who understand nothing past your own lies should be shut away from those foolish enough to care. I have only regret for my own ignorance in believing your will to make a choice. Rot in heaven.

LOGO!!!

2006-02-18T03:44:57Z

Um... I'm working on my logo now... Picture in time... it's neat... in my mind... for now... TADA!!!...

Wolf Mangler

2006-02-11T09:31:05Z

Yessir... my new userpic is the logo for wolfmangler... go look them up yourself. I am cold. Sleeping by myself on the couch. Left here. Alone. Again. And yet there's a part of my brain that says this is unexpected. Then there's the part that's not stupid. And should have seen this coming, a mile away. Burn. All of you. And feel how cold it can be to turn to ashes.

NOthing to type

2006-02-07T08:11:12Z

No really... um... I don't have anything to talk about right now..... OH YEAH. I ate some food today. That was good.

Tearz

2006-02-02T08:02:38Z

I will wait for you. Through all the doubt and expectations of your abscence. From your mouth, and from my mind. I will wait as I always have... too foolish to ever come in from the rain. And to blind to see anyone poised to send me ready and easily seen dissapointment. But truly I see it all. I just hold fast to my sword by the blade, hoping they will see the blood. And maybe once... just fucking once... they will change their mind.

I looked through my old wedding pictures today. I thought I surely would cry. But I didn't. I started to, but then I felt a hollowness. Like my mind is telling me she is gone forever, and that would be fine, if I could stop getting the flood of images... the sound of her voice,and the wrenching in my gut. The feeling of someone, carving you up into something like an idol of what together you where. But there is no us, beyond what I hold in memories. But why cling to those ideas? Am I afraid she's the only one who would have never left me, who would always be there when no one else would be... Who was someone I would spend the rest of life with, in happiness, where I a stronger man? I don't know. I just hope someone proves me wrong. "I shouldn't wait for you"? No. I think waiting for you, is the last thing I can hold faith to anymore. She has taken my son. I have lost more within and more without than anyone outside of me can fathom. So I will hold onto this one thing. And pray.

seriously, I think Necro And varg...

2006-02-01T20:41:19Z

should be fused into one person. Now that. Would be fucking brute. HahahhA. This is a silly silly thought. But imagine Burzum + Necro....... muahahahahaha!

Song to the Siren

2006-01-31T20:47:31Z

... I dreamt about my wife... She looked like she did our wedding day. I don't want to write about this.

bors_son @ 2006-01-31T01:43:00

2006-01-31T09:53:29Z

My new tattoo is itchy. Whatever. I found some good images for use in my project. They are secret. So instead I'll just post a post about nothing. Liz is moving out... hmmm. I have mixed feelings. I read an interview with Malefic from Xasthur. He sounds like someone I would like to meet. I agree with his opinions on the afterlife... I wish things would just be quiet. That's what goes through my mind a lot. Which is funny because Black Metal is like a drug for me, and it's often... not... um, quiet. But now when I hear it, and I hear it a lot, past all the lyrics, past all the odinism and hate, for me at it's core... This music is a prayer for silence. The Knight of Swords project has a new drive. An old drive. And its teeth are clenched around the throat of the oracle. It will speak no more, and I will become the voice of my own fate even if it ends in fire and pain. Because it will be mine. Bleh. I miss my Lizzo. And more than that... I miss my son. Valhalla you FUCKS!

Waltz (Faeries aire and death waltz 31st movement) Op. 563

2006-01-23T12:19:32Z

*begin by singing the theme to your deflowering backwards in natural harmonics, with a ragtime feel*
*cue strings, all instruments tuned a half step down from the one to the left of closest outy belly button*
*wait for drum roll...*
*.... and release the penguins*
*after 30 minute progressive jazz experimental tuba solo move trombones down stage*
*begin main waltz theme based on a cro-magnon skinning chant*
*insert arpeggios using allen wrench*
*turn off flamethrower at this point*
*then. when it starts to get weired, woman dressed in duck suit to symbolize world peace sings -

and it goes...

Her skin is like the space between your scars
And she scars like a sculpture
Dilemmas are just a momentary diversion
Turn around and you'll be followed home
By your back
And on your feet

*light fuse*
*begain interpretive dance*
*remove santa hat from paper mache fidel castro*
*bow towards left side of stage and make pre-written statement about the socio-economical unrest in a third world nation with less than 2 vowels*
*as cannons fire have midgets descend with the curtain between their teeth*

Knight of Swords - Blood Poison

2006-01-20T16:45:56Z

Blood poison
Armies of culture
Blood poison
All poised with rifles empty

Why do they sound off these anthems?
And celebrate their history as if they where living it?
Here I see no great conquerers
Across the land I see nothing but those
Who cling to echos and icons
When will their ancestry be seen for the reality
It is spoiled
In this cesspool of idealism

Blood poison
I will show you true embracing
Blood poison
Of the rage centuries old
Blood poison
Someone with me will you stand?!
And stop the bleeding of this earth
The human trash is now at the brink
Of turning our destiny
In to a sewer of blood poisoning

Blood poison
Now it's death or ascension
Blood poison
No one can save you from your own dilution...

Whore!!!

2006-01-18T20:54:43Z

Here's some half assed lyrics with potential I think for my Black metallic projekt of Doom. Delightfully tacky... yet refined. :)

Raw and bleeding
I grasp at your tender breast
And scream his name as I bleed your corpse
Feast upon the eyes of the slain and pray for blinder days
When one man might become as the thunder god spoke
With the crackling angry rage
of a sky split in two
The ambivalent sky
Quelling its rage with the beautiful
Unifying hatred
Of the dawn
Raw and bleeding
I scream your name
As I eat the heart from his chest
See now the greed
This warrior of greed
Avatar of injustice and hatred
Never leave your armor
Or shield for a breath
I will be there waiting with my sword gleaming
From the light of my sun
My beautiful day
When I will give a wound so deep
It will scar your soul

There's a Viking in the attic....

2006-01-18T20:44:35Z

YES LADIES AND GENTLEMAN THANKS TO DAVE AND JAMIE THE UNFATHOMABLY AWESOME BAD ASS PEOPLE OF AWESOMENESS THE UPPER DUNGEON/LAIR/VIKING ENCAMPMENT THAT IS MY ATTIC IS NOW AWESOMEEEEEEEE...... So come over and lets hang out. BTW, I need helping coming up with ideas on what horrible things are best *and somewhat legal* to do to someone you want to suffer helplessly and horribly when you know their schedule... And where they sleep. And have readily access to both... Eh, just somthin to keep in mind.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have Malina.

2006-01-12T04:47:13Z

YES! I have at long last rediscovered a dear friend thanks to the paradoxilishious anonymous and anoniminitie free interweb!!! MUA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hopefully we will be kickin it and rockin hard sooner than later. The world is a miraculous place my friends.

And there was a great light....

2006-01-12T01:03:26Z

A great light filled me today. It was so bright I thought for sure I'd burn from the inside out, bursting sunshine from my mouth as my body burned in the white shinening hatred that burst forth from the completion of the great work within me. My soul assembling like puzzle pieces of the greater future I could not grasp nor escape, but then as the screaming beams of light became all I could percieve I felt the last great surge of life within me become the same. Y'know, a supernova of regret pain and hatred that pierced even the light of hope. And then just like that dissapeared and shined no different than I do normally. Oh well. I look forward to becoming like the sun.

EVERYBODY GET HAPPY!!! EXPLOSIVELY HAPPY!

2006-01-12T00:08:25Z

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
RARA-E-YORA- *ahem*.......... Paranoia agent theme song. Download now. Then kill things with it blaring. You will be satisfied. Promise. VALAHALLA!!!!!!!!!!!

Comfort and a dagger.

2006-01-06T15:08:53Z

So, things are better. My Dad took me for chinese and sake, which was nice. The night was pleasent after returning home, had a tarot reading, and then... Well. Yeah, I feel like a million bucks. But I'm hungry. hehe. Valhalla! Oh yeah, and my musik is coming along nicely.

I really like the sand paper

2006-01-03T13:52:50Z

misleading subject. If you where there for the event. you know all you need to know. if not, then don't think I'll spew out about it on this fucking journal... Sorry guys, you'll have to interact with a real human being to hear anything of substance. Oh, and girl got sick of guy being sick of girl fucking other guys so girl dumped guy and guy misses girl but still hates guy she was fucking. oh well. kill them all shortly...

Stupid Fucking Human...

2005-12-21T02:31:49Z

Insect. You're a fucking insect... hehehe... So here we go.

MY DIARY 7/32/'067 *it is this date that I pulled out of my ass*

Sometimes when I'm the heat of everything I wonder if my mission is really worth all this, because the only hero(s) I managed to really hold onto for most of my life as heros where/are some stupid inspiring stuff from my childhood and Varg Virkernes: and only the latter is a revenger. And so I have little to no experience in the slow dutiful vengence I feel so compelled to unleash. However, I believe it's only a matter of time until the world distributes it's own justice.

this is how my drudgery drudge

2005-12-13T05:46:59Z

And this is how I get 5 days off from plaid. Someone come love me. Not you silly... Okay sure why not. YAY B-DAY DE MI CHILD IS THE 18th!!!!!!!!!!

Catch a rep

2005-12-01T05:49:51Z

Oh sweet day of reckoning! Whence forth many faces shall be blurred by a swift and vomitous rage. Probably because I'll be vomiting. Possibly from the raw anger within... but mostly because it sounds ridiculous. HAHAHHAAHA! Anyways people, the hunt is on, and ummm... I really really need to eat something, like some yakisoba noodly goodness... or... yeah. Oh and I'm gonna kill you. Not you stupid. that guy. Y'know, that one guy... um... yeah

bors_son @ 2005-11-18T06:37:00

2005-11-18T14:39:13Z

I miss my son. He's cooler than you. He's cooler than anyone. He doesn't care if he's getting any action, he doesn't care if you talk to him or not, and he really doesn't care about anything. Except me, and his mom. All he cares about is being happy and love and spongebob squarepants. He doesn't use complete sentences but he has more of a grasp on himself than a lot of people I know.

I wish for the wrath of the deity, whichever one it turns out I've been really praying to this whole time, to befall apon whoever it needs to, in order to open some eyes. I wish that I could stop feeling like I need to wish for things.

Polyamory, is not about hoarding fucks. And it is not about avoiding commitments. It is about forging deeper commitments. At least, that's what Meaghann tells me... And in fact, we've all been told a lot of things, haven't we folks? And a lot of them are true. Unless you count the lies. It's amazing how the one she doesn't get, takes much higher priority than the one she does. And the other one she apparently does? But I haven't heard much about that... HA! it's funny how little things like that are left out.

...... Growth takes time.... no wonder... she never has any.

Enter the Savage one

2005-10-20T07:02:55Z

Tonight. ROcks. Last Night. Rocked. All nights. Rock. When you're in a metal band :) Profound? no. True. Yes. Typing retarded for no reason. You bet your ass. VALHALLA YOU FUCKS! oh, and SAVAGE HENRY BITCHES!!!!

Savage Henry Bitches

2005-10-11T12:45:10Z

Fuckin brutal jam session today. Much the mutha-fucking phantastic. Working on lyrics for the Thorzein Shuffle... So far that and 12 gauge shotgun to a kevlar vest are the two definitive demo tracks... more to come. :)

No one owning you is different than giving yourself away

2005-10-08T22:42:03Z

There is no happy ending. There is no magical happieness that will make this end well, or even comfortable. I am afraid of my own weakness to commit to self respect. Therefore, I think i need to remind myself of all the reasons why this is so hard and why I couldn't bear it to begain with. *reminds self* Urgh... Every time I think about it, I feel filthy. I feel like some kind of stupid stupid animal to base to grasp the facts that a. He is not built for this. and b. this is not what he needs. Will this change anything? Probably not. But I can hope that with the help of my newly aquired Zatoichi and my rugged good looks *communal eye roll* I'll be able to find an escape path. I wish Gretta or Nicole where here... They always make the clouds roll back and reveal a sky that's the just the right shade of goodness, and know how to rock out like madwomen.

got black metal?

Love you guys... VALHALLA YOU FUCKS!

Session 0.1beta

2005-10-05T05:12:41Z

getting ready to be much drunker than am now
First full band jam
This spacebar sucks
This is not haiku
butshould be
Vallhalla
You fucksss